Lelouch's Car Race
by Windrises
Summary: Lelouch tries to win a car race. His main racing rival is Prince Schneizel.


Notes: Code Geass is owned by Sunrise. This story is dedicated to all of the wonderful people that worked on Code Geass.

Lelouch Lamperouge was jumping around the city. He looked around and saw a giant race car area. He said "That seems weird and I'm addicted to weird stuff so I need to check it out." Lelouch walked around the race car area.

Anya Alstreim asked "Do you have permission to be here sir?"

Lelouch said "No. In fact I'm banned from a majority of the cities' houses and stores."

Anya sighed and said "This place is only for the staff and the racers, until the racing day. You need to go sir."

Lelouch replied "I'm sorry. I can't do things that I don't wanna do." Lelouch pushed Anya away and looked around the race track.

The owner asked "Are you one of the racers?"

Lelouch said "Actually I'm just one of the viewers. I can't resist checking out random places like this."

The owner replied "I totally understand young sir. This is the best racing track in all of Japan."

Lelouch said "There's a few problems."

The owner asked "What do you mean?"

Lelouch said "There's car marks around the track."

The owner replied "Well the racers were practicing with their race cars on the tracks."

Lelouch said "I think you should have planes do a racing contest."

The owner replied "No offense young man, but you're a weirdo."

Lelouch proudly said "I'm the prince of weirdos. I'm the prince of various things."

Prince Schneizel walked by and said "You're main job is being the prince of troublemakers. You're not allowed to be here."

Lelouch asked "Why are you here?"

Prince Schneizel said "I'm one of the racers."

The owner replied "He's expected to win the race."

Lelouch said "You're not a race car driver."

Prince Schneizel replied "It's a hobby that I've gained in recent months. Since then I've won around a dozen races."

Lelouch asked "Can I join the race?"

Prince Schneizel said "That's a dumb thing to ask. Why would a slapstick simpleton like you wanna race?"

Lelouch said "So I can finally beat you at something. You often consider yourself to be the Emperor's most successful kid, but I'm going to make you became the prince of race car losers."

Prince Schneizel replied "If you're pathetic enough to join the race you can."

Lelouch asked "Why do you think me joining the race is pathetic?"

Prince Schneizel said "You've never done a car race before."

Lelouch said "I've drove my car dozens of times. I've already gotten hundreds of parking tickets. That's all the race car training that I need."

Prince Schneizel replied "Okay. The race is on Friday. If you decide to not show up I'll understand. You couldn't win." The prince pushed Lelouch and walked away.

Lelouch went home and said "I'm going to be in Friday's car race."

C. C. asked "Why would you agree to do something that foolish?"

Lelouch said "I'm not foolish. I heard that the winner's prize will be a two hundred thousand dollars."

C. C. replied "But you're not a racer."

Lelouch said "I've driven my car enough times that I'm basically a racer."

C. C. replied "Yeah right."

Lelouch proudly said "I'm going to be the prince of race car drivers."

C. C. replied "Even Dick Dastardly would outrace you."

Lelouch said "Drat, drat, and double drat."

Meanwhile Prince Schneizel was having a meeting with Princess Cornelia. Cornelia said "Your choice of having Lelouch be in the race is very controversial. Why would you have that fool be in the race?"

Prince Schneizel said "The reason I had this race track made is so I can have a race with Lelouch. It's a excellent chance to make him look like the world's biggest fool."

Cornelia replied "That was a huge waste of money."

Schneizel said "The cost of the race track combined with all the TV promotions equals a few million. It's money spent wonderfully."

Cornelia replied "You're wasting money. You should spend money on important things. You could make the world a happier place."

Schneizel said "Ruining Lelouch's legacy is a wonderful way to make the world happy."

A few days later it was Friday. Lelouch went to the racing area. Instead of wearing a racing costume Lelouch wore a tuxedo that he found in a garbage can. He said "The garbage can is the master of free shopping." The audience rolled their eyes.

Prince Schneizel said "Break a leg Lelouch. Actually break both legs." The prince laughed.

Lelouch replied "You're a cruel jerk."

Schneizel sarcastically said "I work very hard to give you the kindest compliments."

Lelouch replied "I'm going to win the race. Charles and Marianne are going to think that I'm the best son ever after I win the race."

Schneizel replied "Your imagination of lies is foolish." Lelouch stuck his tongue out at Schneizel.

Diethard Ried said "That jerk made fun of Prince Schneizel. Lets throw stuff at him." Diethard and several audience members threw food and drinks at Lelouch.

Anya was the announcer. While looking unexcited she said "Welcome to the big race. The race is sponsored by a few dozen advertising names that I don't have the patience to name. If you don't enjoy the race I understand, but refunds are forbidden. Start the race."

Instead of using a race car Lelouch used his regular car. After the race started Lelouch turned on his car and started driving. He said "I'm going to be the ultimate winner. In fact I"m already proud of myself. I don't have time travel powers, but my future victory is obvious." Lelouch's car ran out of gasoline.

Gino Weinberg was one of the race car drivers. Lelouch ran up to Gino's car while on the race track.

Anya said "Lelouch is dumb enough to run on a race track. He truly is the prince of dumb plans."

Lelouch had Gino stop his race car. Gino said "Hi dude. What's going on?"

Lelouch threw Gino out of his race car and took it. Lelouch said "I have a new car." Lelouch started driving Gino's race car.

Schneizel looked behind him and saw that Lelouch was driving close to where he was. He said "That fool thinks that I underestimated him, but he's wrong about that. He's going to be the ultimate loser."

Lelouch drived by Schneizel and said "I'm the awesomest driver ever." Lelouch looked on the race track and saw a phone book. Lelouch stepped out of Gino's race car to look at the phone book. Gino's race car crashed into a empty building. The car and the building got broken into pieces.

Lelouch read the phone book while he waited for Tamaki to drive by. Lelouch said "You need to get out of the car."

Tamaki asked "Why?"

Lelouch said "If you get out of the car I'll give you some donuts."

Tamaki replied "Okay. Eating moderately healthy snacks is important for race car drivers' health." Tamaki stepped out of his race car. Lelouch went into Tamaki's race car and started driving it.

Anya said "Lelouch has done another illegal act." She sighed and sarcastically said "That guy is the master of morality."

Lelouch noticed that Schneizel got a head start so Lelouch drove the race car super quickly. After a few minutes of driving fast he managed to drive ahead of Schneizel. Lelouch said "This is going to be the sweetest victory ever."

A few minutes later Lelouch got to the end of the race. Lelouch danced around while saying "I'm the winner."

Schneizel replied "You're not the winner."

Lelouch said "You're the master of wrongness for thinking that, because I got to the end of the race before you did."

Schneizel replied "You did it by cheating."

Cornelia said "Also you broke the law by stealing race cars. You're going to get the ultimate punishment for that." A few guards were ready to arrest Lelouch. Lelouch stole Schneizel's race car and drove away.

Anya sighed and said "Lelouch deserves a reward for the most bothersome racer ever. Thanks to him I have to overtime and report his racing antics. This job sucks more than the sucker I had for dinner."

A bunch of guards in cars chased Lelouch. Lelouch started driving one hundred miles per hour and said "I'm the master of car escapes."

Anya replied "If you want to know what you should teach your kids tell them this important lesson: Don't act like Lelouch! You'll never get learn a better moral than that."


End file.
